October is when the two calendars crash.
School basketball tryouts land under state start-date rules. Many 12U AAU teams are already practicing by then, or they resume the same week. Your kid gets pulled toward both gyms while neither coach watches the other calendar.
This is a parent logistics problem. The school coach answers to the school. The AAU coach answers to a club that never sees your Tuesday calendar.
Nobody gets paid to protect your Tuesday night. Wait for them to “work it out” and you will get a 4:30 text asking where your kid went.
Decide the priority before the first conflict. Most families protect school tryouts and the first two weeks of school practice while a roster is still being decided. After the roster sticks, they settle into a lighter AAU week.
That pattern is common, not a law. Some travel programs expect AAU first, so know which deal you signed before October starts.
Write the plan in one plain sentence you can paste into both team apps. Example: “Through October 31, school tryouts and school practice come first, and AAU gets one weekday when school is dark.”
Tell both coaches the same sentence early. Send it in email or the team app before the first double-booked night. You are not asking permission. You are removing surprise, which coaches hate more than a planned miss.
Watch the soft nights. Open gym, scorekeeping, captain workouts, and AAU skills sessions look optional until three of them stack on one evening. If sleep matters more than a fourth gym hour, say so before your kid plays a tryout tired.
Two kids on two calendars is harder. You cannot sit in two gyms at once. Split the driving, or pick which sibling gets a parent on which night, because pretending you can cover both full loads is how someone ends up alone in a lobby.
For the year-round shape of travel basketball, use the AAU 12U season calendar. The older recruiting version of this choice is AAU versus high school in July.
October will not get quieter on its own. The only lever you own is the plan you set before it starts.