When a teammate is mean to your kid. What to say.
What to say when your kid comes home hurt by a teammate. The script that hears it out and helps them figure out what to do.
What they're feeling
- · Hurt and maybe confused about what they did wrong.
- · Not sure if they should say something or just let it go.
- · Wanting you to tell them what to do.
- · Embarrassed it happened in front of the team.
What to say (pick one)
- "That sounds really hard. Tell me what happened."
- "How are you feeling about it now?"
- "What do you want to do about it?"
Then stop talking.
What not to say
- "I'm going to call that kid's parents."
- "Just ignore it. That's what kids do."
- "You need to stand up for yourself."
The rule
Find out what happened before you decide what to do. One account of one incident isn't enough to act on.
If they bring it up
- · Ask if this is the first time or if it's been building.
- · Help them figure out if they want to address it themselves or involve a coach.
- · If it keeps happening, that's a pattern and warrants talking to the coach.
- · Don't resolve it before they've had a chance to try.
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When a teammate is mean to your kid
- · Listen before you fix.
- · Ask if it's a pattern or a one-time thing.
- · Let them lead on what they want to do about it.
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