What to say before a game at 8–10
The effort-not-outcome script. They're starting to care about winning. Don't build the conditional love around it.
What they're feeling
- · Aware that some kids are better than others.
- · Watching to see who their friends are passing to.
- · Wanting to do well in front of you.
- · Not yet sure what to do with nerves.
What to say (pick one)
- "I love watching you play."
- "Try one thing you've been working on."
- "Have fun out there."
Then stop talking.
What not to say
- "Just don't strike out."
- "Coach said you'd start. Make sure he keeps you in."
- "We need a win today."
- "Remember, scouts are watching. (No, they're not. They are nine.)"
The rule
Reinforce the part they can control. Effort. Attempt. Whatever they've been working on. Skip outcomes.
If they bring it up
- · If they ask whether they'll start, say what you know. 'I think so' is honest. 'I don't know' is too. 'Definitely' is not yours to give.
- · If they say they're nervous, ask what they're nervous about. Listen first. Don't fix it.
- · If they want a pep talk, give them a real one in five words. 'You've worked. Go play. Have fun.'
Pin this
Before a game at 8–10
- · Affirm one specific thing they've been working on.
- · Skip the win/loss frame entirely.
- · End with something concrete and short.
parentcoachdesk.com/scripts
You might also need
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The no-stakes script. Kids this age don't need a pep talk. They need to know the snack situation.
What to say before a game at 11–12
When real nerves arrive. The script that names the feeling without inflating it. Three sentences, not a speech.
Your kid is nervous before a game. Here's what to say.
The morning of. Stomach in knots. Saying they don't want to go. The script that calms without dismissing.