Tryouts start at 9am. It’s 7:50am, and your nine-year-old is in bed with the covers over her head, saying she doesn’t want to go.

You have about ten minutes to figure out what’s going on. Skip the lecture and ask one thing: Tell me one specific reason you don’t want to go.

A vague answer points to nerves. A concrete answer, like the coach from last spring who yelled at her, points to a specific problem.

And I don’t think I want to play anymore is a third answer entirely. That one gets a different morning.

Nerves or a specific problem: go

Nerves look like real upset with nothing concrete behind it. She’s scared of the cut, of looking bad, of a gym full of kids she doesn’t know.

Calm, kind pressure works here: I hear you, and we’re going anyway, so let’s go find your cleats. Say it once and don’t argue.

Plenty of nervous kids settle down once the warm-up starts. Doing the scary thing and coming out fine teaches her more than any pep talk you can give at 7:55am.

A specific problem gets a specific fix. If a kid she clashes with will be there, she can stick with her own drill group. If one coach worries her, plan what she’ll do at that station.

Some problems are serious enough to skip the tryout entirely. When that’s the case, believe her, stay home, and call the club later in the week to sort it out.

If her stomach is part of the protest, your kid throws up before tryouts covers how to tell nerves from illness.

Done with the sport: stay home

Sometimes the refusal has been building for weeks. She’s gone quiet at practice and stopped asking to play in the yard, and the tryout is just where it finally shows.

If that’s the answer, you don’t go. Sit on the floor by the bed and say, We don’t have to go. Tell me what’s going on.

The tryout fee is already spent either way. A calm talk about whether this sport still fits her is worth more than a tryout she attends angry.

After the morning

If you went, keep the car quiet. Music low, no replay of the fight, and no see, this is why we leave on time.

At pickup, skip aren’t you glad we made you go. Ask how was it and let her talk.

Next time, the night before tryouts at 8 to 10 is where the calm starts. If the same dread follows her into school mornings and sleepovers, bring it up with her pediatrician, because that’s bigger than one tryout.